In the TV series Mad Men, main character Don Draper, the darling of Madison Avenue advertisers is a perfect example of an Unfinished Man. He is a man whose childhood was fraught with confusion, shame and a total lack of initiation by solid, wholesome men. So he finds himself in his mid thirties, highly successful in work, charming to the world of women, but a complete dud when it comes to being a husband and father. He is torn between what he knows he needs to do (love his wife, and lead and love his children) andthe dark passions of his life. He is a tortured man. The true passions of men haunts him (fidelity and being a father) as he continues to seek his true self in the dark passions of his past, seeking identity in the world of promiscuity and the fog of alcohol induced highs. He is a man wandering in the desert of life and seeking significance and meaning in all the wrong places. He is an unfinished man living in a crazy world.
John Eldredge, in his book, Fathered by God writes, “You see, what we have now is a world of un-initiated men. Partial men. Boys, mostly, walking around in men’s bodies, with men’s jobs and familiies, finances, and responsibilities. the passing on of masculinity was never completed, if it was begun at all. The boy was never taken through the process of masculine initiation. That’s why most of us are Unfinished Men. And therefore unable to truly live as men in whatever life throws as us. And unable to pass on to our sons and daughters what they need to become whole and holy men and women themselves.” P. 7
For those of us men who are entering our Second Act, we want to live fully and make an impact, not just in commerce or the workplace, but real impact that lasts. Often we fall short due to an inability to move beyond our failures and shortcomings that were cemented in place during our early days. So we stumble along life’s journey, seeking success and kudos in all the wrong places. All the while life drifts away like the morning fog and we accept the fact that we are unfinished men, destined for a life of mediocrity and struggle.
Does it have to be that way? What avenues are you pursuing that would put you on the path to significance and real living? Who do you allow to speak into your life and begin the process of initiation into true masculinity and life? And once you get on the right course of the second act, to whom will you seek to instill wisdom and guidance in this upcoming generation?
We are living in a crazy world with crazy people. What is needed most is men who know their calling, understand their identity in Christ and are with humility and passion, willing to lead and share the road map to true success. Are you one of those men? I hope so. Don’t let the Second Act of life slip away, there’s still time, and there’s plenty of work that needs to be done.
